You are looking for ways to help your friend or family member who has a child in the hospital. But... you aren’t quite sure how to go about it. I’ve put together a list, based on what I remember being helpful and encouraging to me and my husband when our daughter was inpatient for over a month, and from friends of mine who have also had children in the hospital for a significant duration. Of course, you can take some and leave others, but I hope this list - as a whole - is helpful!
1. Childcare for Siblings If there are other children, they most likely do not want to be cooped up in the hospital all day, and the parents probably don’t want to pay to have them babysat. Having a friend or family member available to watch siblings is a huge relief for parents and frees them up both mentally and physically to focus on helping their hospitalized child get better. Even if they have immediate family members like grandparents who usually watch the kids, it’s nice to have back up sitters to give grandma or grandpa a break – especially if it’s a longer hospital stay.
2. Visit and Sit with Them Remember to double check beforehand and make sure that they’re up for visitors. Many parents feel quite isolated and lonely while spending hours on end in a small hospital room. Having someone to sit with and talk to is a welcome change.
3. Sit with the Child Often parents feel uncomfortable leaving their child’s bedside even for an hour or two to run errands, shower, or to get some much-needed rest. You can offer to sit in the child’s room so that mom or dad can leave without feeling uneasy. Bring games, books or a movie if the child is awake, or something to keep yourself occupied if the child is asleep. Of course, there are always nurses in and out of the room, but it’s not the same as having a friendly face, someone their child already knows, there for emotional support – especially if the child is older.
4. Pet Care Depending on how far the hospital is from their home, it can be really difficult, or even impossible for inpatient families to care for them. Even if they live near the hospital, shuttling back and forth to let the animals out, feed them, give them exercise, and whatever else they might need, can compound the stress they’re already feeling. Knowing that their pets are being adequately cared for by someone they trust can be a huge weight off their shoulders.
5. Feed Them There are several ways to do this: a. Bring them a meal. Home-cooked, store-bought, or take-out, it doesn’t really matter, they will be fed and it will not be something they have to plan or think about. b. Delivery. Uber Eats, pizza, or any other food delivery service. This one is perfect for those who live far away, but want to help out in some way. Most hospitals will have a list of restaurants that deliver directly to the hospital on their website. c. Food and gift cards. Purchase gift cards from restaurants or grocery stores that are close to the hospital so that the parents don’t need to travel too far to pick up the food. The least time spent away from their child, the better. Some hospitals even allow people to call them and purchase gift cards for their cafeteria – the cards are then delivered to the child’s room for the family to be able to use whenever they need (this one is also great for out-of-towners). While our little one was in the hospital friends and family blessed us with food in all three of these capacities. It was a huge help to us.
6. Gas Cards Even with a good support system, these parents will most likely be driving a lot. Many people live hours away from the hospital in which their child is staying. Gas is just another expense the family has to deal with on top of the medical bills and other basic necessities.
7. Home Maintenance Water their plants, mow their lawn, do laundry, dishes, whatever needs to be done. If you know that they are being discharged soon, get a group of people together to clean the house so that that they can come home to a fresh and inviting home, not a list of To-Do’s.
8. Coffee (or Tea) Make it for them, bring it to them, buy it for them, or send a coffee gift card. They will be grateful, I assure you.
9. Reach Out Even if you don’t live nearby, send them a card, text, or call them (they may not pick-up – but leave a message). Let them know you’re thinking of them or praying for them. Like I mentioned above, hospital life can be isolating. Just knowing that people are out there rooting for them and their family can give them the boost they need for the days ahead.
10. Snack Bags Put together a bag of healthy snacks that the family can keep at the hospital with them. Parents will often forget to eat when they’re so distracted by their child’s medical condition/needs. They will be thankful to have something quick and nutritious on-hand without ever having to leave their child’s floor. My sister put together a LARGE bag of healthy (and some not-so-healthy) snacks and dropped it off at the hospital. It was a lifesaver for us especially during the more stressful days. It lasted us a couple weeks, too!
11. Fund-raise Start a GoFundMe, throw a multi-family garage sale, bake sale, or spaghetti dinner. Medical bills can really pile high, even if they have insurance. Not only will the financial support be a huge help, but seeing their community band together in support of them will be such an encouragement.
12. Remember Them AFTER They Come Home This is a big one. I know it may seem like the worst is over once they are discharged, but really, the WORK has just begun for the parents. While their child was in the hospital the nurses were available to help care for their child. Now they are left to fend for themselves. Not only are they caring for their recuperating child and all that entails, but they’ll have to cook, clean, and go back to all of the responsibilities they had before their child was hospitalized. This transition is tough and they will need their community more than ever to rally around them as they find their “new normal.”
This is by no means a comprehensive list. If you have other suggestions just add them in the comments below!
- Brianna
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